December 31, 2011
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"You shall not wrong one another and you shall fear your G‑d"—Leviticus 25:17. It is forbidden to verbally distress or humiliate another.
Hurtful Words
"You shall not wrong one another and you shall fear your G‑d"—Leviticus 25:17.
It is forbidden to verbally distress or humiliate another.
Examples:
- If a person has sinned in his youth and then repented, one may not tell him, "Thank G‑d who has taken you away from that path to this good path!" or similar indirect references to his earlier faults that may cause him pain.
- [If a person is suffering from illness, one may not say (as Job's friends did), "Has anyone perished who was totally innocent?"
- If you see people who seek to purchase grain, do not tell them that they can obtain it by a certain person, who in reality has nothing to sell.
- Do not enter a store and ask, "How much does this item cost?" when you have no intention to make a purchase.]
Our Sages taught that hurtful words are, in fact, a graver sin than defrauding another of money.
December 21, 2011
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December 17, 2011
December 15, 2011
Responsibility to Others
Responsibility To Others
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Kislev 19, 5772 · December 15, 2011
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Jewish teaching commands us to have love of G-d, and also love of one's fellow. If a person's private piety makes him forget his duties towards other people, he is probably on the wrong track, and his actions could lead to disaster. This point is illustrated by the role of Reuben in this week's Parshah.
Our Parshah describes the conflict amongst the twelve sons of Jacob. Joseph, who was his father's favorite, had dreams of future greatness in which his brothers bow down to him. His brothers were angered by this. One day they caught the young Joseph and threw him into a pit. Reuben was the oldest son of Jacob. He was upset by this turn of events, but felt unable to influence his brothers' actions. However, he determined that later he would come back to the pit and rescue Joseph, in order to bring him home to their father.
This plan would have worked except for the fact of Reuben's personal religious piety which sometimes blinded him to the true needs of the moment. After throwing Joseph in the pit, the brothers sat down to eat. At that crucial time, Reuben should have stayed with them in order to ensure Joseph's safety. Instead he went away. Why? One reason given for this is because, as the Sages tell us, he had a private program of solitary prayer and fasting.1 Like many very pious people, he thought of himself as a sinner who had to repent. Unfortunately, he allowed his quest for personal piety to override his wider sense of responsibility.
While Reuben was away fasting and praying, the brothers decided to sell Joseph to some passing merchants. By the time Reuben returned, there was no way of catching up with them and getting Joseph back. Reuben was filled with grief, but it was too late. His private desire for religious fulfillment had made him forget the wider responsibility which the Torah imposes on each individual: concern for others.
| FOOTNOTES | |
| 1. | See Rashi to Genesis 37:29, second explanation. |
December 14, 2011
December 13, 2011
Day 82 - Beyond Reproach SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws of Loshon Hora 10:9-10
Shmiras Haloshon Yomi
18 Kislev, 5772 / December 14, 2011
Day 82 - Beyond Reproach
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws of Loshon Hora 10:9-10
In the previous segment, we learned that when negative information needs to be related l’toeles (for a constructive purpose) and rebuke is not possible, then the report must be said in the presence of at least three people.
In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim tells us that there is an exception to this rule: When the speaker is respected as a man of truth and a straightforward individual who would not say anything behind someone’s back that he would not say in his presence, then he can relate the information privately and does not need to speak in front of three people.
As explained in the previous segment, three people are needed when there is a possibility that the speaker will be suspected of lying or trying to speak badly of someone without that person finding out. As a public forum, the group of three gives credibility to both the speaker and his report. However, when the speaker is respected as being a man of absolute integrity, he will not be suspected of lying or of improper motives. Therefore, there is no need for a group of three.
The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by pointing out a difference between a report involving a sin between man and his fellow and one involving a sin between man and Hashem. In the latter case, such information can be related l’toeles only if the person has intentionally committed this sin numerous times, and only if it is something which we would expect the average religious Jew to recognize as a sin.
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Truth Or Personal Feud
A Lesson A Day
18 Kislev, 5772/ December 14, 2011
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 78 – Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
The Mishnah (Avos 5:20) contrasts machlokes l’sheim shamayim, a dispute for the sake of Heaven, with one that is not. The former is epitomized by the disputes of Hillel and Shammai whose differing views in matters of halacha, Jewish Law, are reverently studied and pondered generation after generation as eternal components of the Oral Law. The latter is epitomized by the dispute of Korach, whose personal feud against Moshe Rabbeinu earned him an untimely death and eternal dishonor. As the Chofetz Chaim notes in his preface to Sefer Chofetz Chaim, one whose sinful talk fuels strife transgresses the prohibition, “that he not be like Korach and his assembly” (Bamidbar 17:5, see Sanhedrin 110a).
To the Jew, intellectual disagreement in a common search for truth is an integral part of life. As a spiritual, thinking people, Jews are forever involved in discussion of ideas.
Conversely, personal bickering, jealousy, and competition are signs of immaturity and weakness. They have no place in the world of the Jew.
The difficulty, however, lies in our tendency to transform every dispute into an ideological one. Korach, too, came with a philosophy: that all Jews are equally holy, and thus there is no justification for one family, Aharon and his Kohanim descendants, to be above everyone else. The sages teach that Korach’s argument was rooted in jealousy, resulting from his having been passed over for the position of prince of his Levite family.
Before embarking on an ideological campaign against others, one must ask himself: “Am I honestly promoting the cause of truth, or am I involved in a personal feud disguised as an ideological debate?”
Ideological disagreement should never lead to personal animosity. When Torah scholars disagree, their dispute is over ideals, and is never personal. When a scholar is involved in a dispute, his followers must be careful not to become involved in a matter that is not their own, and certainly should avoid character assassination and personal hatred towards his opponent.
SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
At All Costs
If one finds oneself embroiled in feud, he dare not rest until he has fully extricated himself from it. One must strive with every ounce of resolve to remove himself from strife, no matter how difficult this may be.
The Torah relates that initially Ohn ben Peles was among the leaders of Korach’s camp in his rebellion against Moshe (Bamidbar 16:1). Yet he managed to separate himself from Korach’s group and thus was not punished when their time came.
Do not be convinced by the evil inclination’s arguments and incitements that, for example, it is below one’s dignity not to follow through in a dispute until victory is achieved. Better to experience embarrassment on this world than to be shamed in the World Above in the presence of the entire Heavenly Assembly.
Our Sages state: “Better that a person be called a fool all his life than to be considered a wicked person even for a moment before the Omnipresent” (Mishnah Ediyos 5:6).
December 12, 2011
December 11, 2011
December 10, 2011
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December 07, 2011
December 06, 2011
December 05, 2011
Shmiras Haloshon Yomi
9 Kislev, 5772 / December 5, 2011
Day 72 - To a Non-Jew
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws of Loshon Hora 8:12
At one time or another, we hear derogatory remarks about Jews. It is tragic enough when such remarks are made by Jews to Jewish listeners. Even more tragic is when they are told by Jews to co-workers, business associates, or others who are not Jewish. The subject of these remarks might be an individual Jew, a specific group of Jews, or Jews in general.
The Chofetz Chaim declares that to speak loshon hora about a Jew when the listener is a gentile is a much greater sin than when the listener is a Jew. One who is guilty of this sin “disgraces the honor of Israel and desecrates the Name of Heaven.”
There is yet another reason for the particular severity of this sin. When one speaks loshon hora to a fellow Jew, there is a possibility that the listener will not be quick to accept the report as fact—especially if he is someone familiar with the laws of loshon hora. Gentiles, on the other hand, certainly do not have a predisposition towards judging Jews favorably. Upon hearing the derogatory report, the gentile will be quick to believe it and pass the information on to others.
When a Jew denigrates other Jews in the presence of gentiles, he is, in essence, contradicting the purpose of his own existence. Our mission in this world as a people is to spread the honor of Hashemby serving as His representatives before the rest of the world. We say in Shema each day: “V’Ahavta es Hashem Elokecha” And you shall love Hashem, your God (Devarim 6:4). Our Sages teach (Yoma 86a) that we demonstrate our love of Hashem by making His Name beloved in the eyes of others. When a Jew studies Torah, speaks pleasantly to people and deals honestly in business, then people say, “Praiseworthy is the father who taught him Torah; praiseworthy is the teacher who taught him Torah. See how beautiful and correct are his ways and deeds.”
Thus the damage caused by relating loshon hora to gentiles goes far beyond loshon hora, which is devastating in itself. Instead of using his abilities to increase Hashem’s honor, the speaker has been guilty of chillul Hashem (desecration of Hashem’s Name).
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